Middle Age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

Then: Killer Weed

Now: Weed Killer

Then: The Grateful Dead

Now: Dr. Kevorkian

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint

Now: Getting a new hip joint

Then: Moving to California because it's cool

Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Being called into the principal's office

Now: Storming into the principal's office

Then: Peace Sign

Now: Mercedes Logo

Then: OJ, cutting & slashing

Now: OJ, cutting & slashing

Then: Getting your head stoned

Now: Getting your headstone

Then: "The Making of the President"

Now: The making of the President

Then: Long hair

Now: Longing for hair

Then: Acid rock

Now: Acid reflux

Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party

Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral

Then: Fighting to get rid of the lying President

Now: Fighting to keep the lying President

Then: The perfect high

Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then: Elvis in the army

Now: Elvis in a UFO

Then: Keg

Now: EKG

Then: Swallowing acid

Now: Swallowing antacid

Then: pothead

Now: potbelly

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents

Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

Then: Passing the driving test

Now: Passing the vision test

Then: Seeds and stems

Now: Roughage

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints

Now: Popping joints

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel Now: Our president's struggle