"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

-Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."

-Hannah, age 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."

-Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes."

-Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."

-Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." -Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."

-Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac."

- Andrew, age 9

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."

- Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."

-Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."

-Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."

-Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."

-Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."

-Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone."

-Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat."