1. A Christmas tree is always erect.

2. Even small ones give satisfaction.

3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

4. A Christmas tree always looks good -even when it's lit.

5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.

7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.

8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.

9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.

10. You only have to feed/water it once a week.

11. It's always there to light up your life.

12. It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.

13. It always smells nice and doesn't pass gas.

14. If it needles you, you can toss it out.