What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

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What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration.

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic divers?

Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.

What is the new O.J. web site address?

slash.slash.backslash.escape

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is using a feather...kinky is using the whole chicken.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One....Men will screw anything.

What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?

Beat IT-we're closed.

Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?

To find a tight seal.

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

K9P

What is another name for pickled bread?

Dill-dough.

Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?

She's withholding evidence.

What is the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on.

Why is sex like a bridge game?

You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

What is the height of conceit?

Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

What is the definition of macho?

Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

You can't hear an enzyme.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.....the other is used to

carry groceries.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?