Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, "Panty stitcher...I sew the elastic onto women's panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

The second guy was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied.

Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor."

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron.